The First Month

After a fight with PPD and a nasty struggle with PP anxiety I feel like I’ve finally managed to find a daily balance. I’m sure this is going to be turned upside down the minute I go back to work, but for now I feel like we’re navigating being new parents fairly well.

Tove has been with us a full month now and holy cow time goes by too fast when you have a newborn. They really do grow so fast and you can’t go back and rewind the precious moments. Plus all the hormones. It’s a trip. I feel like I’ve been on a trip since I went into labor.

She’s grown to 9lbs. Last we checked she also had grown to 23inches. Sooner than I want, I’m going to be her Mini-My and not the other way around 😭 she’s definitely becoming more of a chunky monkey.

She likes to stare at Tex and he gave her a kiss for the first time recently. Tove loves taking baths, the warm water really soothes her. We like to get in the bath together cause it helps heal Mamma’s stitches as well. She’s got a favorite pillow to lay on, it’s a down feather pillow and it keeps her warm. When we lay together though our temperatures both soar. She’s hot just like me.

Tove is wearing size 1 diapers now and is almost too big for her newborn onesies! She loves her breast milk and drinks 3oz in a sitting, my growing girl. She’s also started sleeping in longer stretches, I think we even got 5 hrs at one point!

She’s our little bird who peeps when she sleeps She’s definitely got good lungs and she found her voice screaming into both mom and dads ears.

We love her so much.

Pregnancy Photo Dump

I wanted to blog/journal throughout this pregnancy but honestly haven’t had the extra energy to put into it. So many unwritten blog posts and topics to cover, I wish I was just pregnant full-time and didn’t have to work so I would’ve been able to do more. Here’s a photo journal instead from the second and beginning of the third trimester. A lot of these are just mirror pictures but I still love seeing the progress and changes over time ☺️

I guess I finally felt like I was ‘showing’ at this point. Comical looking back on it now, she was still tiny in there.

I got approved to wear a different uniform at work. Tights being the main perk! Also had to pick up some larger t-shirts and sweaters from work.. living leaf and loving life in this picture.

At this point I was transitioning into wearing maternity clothes exclusively. Note the same outfits in rotation in the following pictures 😅. Since I spend the majority of my time at work in uniform, or at home in some state of undress I didn’t feel like it was necessary to purchase a bunch of maternity clothes/outfits.

Dad (Ben) and I took Tex to a park in Norman and got some exercise on a day off. First time I started feeling a bit short of breath and a bit ‘weaker’ during our walks.

Found an old skirt from Monki that worked with my growing belly as well. Finally felt a bit cute!

Felt like I was properly starting to show at this point!

Ben and I goofing around and getting excited to meet Tove.

Still been able to rock the heels throughout this pregnancy! Ask me again in a few weeks, answer might change.

At work selfie, just cause I felt like the pregnancy glow people always talk about finally caught up to me! My skin cleared up and I think my hormones started to balance out after a full year of ups and downs. I do feel like I look older in this photo though.. already aged and she hasn’t even been born yet 😅

Out on the golf course with Ben on a lovely spring day. Had to document that I was carrying precious life!

At the beginning of April you couldn’t quite tell I was pregnant straight from the front or the back, but once I turned from the side it was starting to be like SURPRISE.

Tex has been a momma’s boy throughout this pregnancy, very needy of attention.

Beginning of May we got a visit from Ben’s parents. Decided to dress up for Mother’s Day even though it felt a bit like cheating celebrating it before we even had a child born into the world. I will say I have a new found appreciation for my own mother this year.

All back ensemble before meeting with our midwife and doula.

Ben outside the Birth Center where we have our clinic meetings with our midwife and her assistant.

Some presents from our registry started to arrive and I was WAY TO EXCITED to not get everything out of the box and set up immediately. Really in love with how functional the travel set we got from Maxi-Cosi is.

Since we haven’t moved into a house yet and will (hopefully) only be at the townhouse with our newborn for a few months into the fall/winter we decided to wait on buying a crib and decorating a nursery. Bassinet for the bedside seems like it’s going to work great for us.

Ben and I joke about our daughter getting his ASSets instead of the ‘plat arsle’ that runs on my side of the family.

Wanted to set up the baby monitor the second it arrived I was so excited. I always am with new technology but the Nanit comes with some awesome features so Ben told me to wait until she was born, that way we didn’t miss out on a few months of free perks. Damn my impatience.. but I got it back in the box without much fuss.

My Pappa was generous enough to order us a second Maxi-Cosi car base, that way we can drive both cars without the hassle of having to reinstall the car seat every time. We still haven’t gone to the fire station to get them installed properly, but it’s on the June to-do list.

This is one of my favorite photos from the pregnancy so far. Not sure why but it reminds me of photos from when I was a child at our summer house in Sweden. Maybe it’s the half nakedness outside or the warm colors. Either way this is very typical of me.. plus Tex is always nearby.

Another selfie because damnit I want to remember life before sleep deprivation and no time for make-up!

At the end of May, I felt like I really started picking up speed in terms of belly growth!

A less than flattering photo of me outside the birth center. Not sure if it was the weather that day or the shadows, but them under eye bags would not quit!

Learning to adapt to pregnancy life includes always having to lay on my side to be comfortable. Preferably with a pillow in between my legs as well. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve woken up on my back in bed and forced myself to fall back asleep on my side. CANNOT WAIT to be able to lay down on my stomach again either.

Tex has been the biggest cuddle/snuggle bug throughout the last couple of months. I feel like the bigger my belly has gotten the more gentle he is around me and with me. He also has to have his face touching my belly if we are laying down together on the couch. He’s going to be very protective of baby girl when she arrives, I can already feel it.

My motto for this unmedicated birth and pregnancy has been “She believed she could, so she did.” I often wear the bracelet Ben’s mom got me a few years ago as a reminder on the daily.

More Tex + Tove bonding on the couch

Ben and I got back from Costco after buying some diapers and baby wipes and looked at each other, “It’s getting so real!”

I had my prenatal visit with a lactation consultant at Thrive Mama Collective. Was a very informative initial meeting and I am very happy with the level of care I’ve received since finding a network of midwives who have recommendations for nearly every aspect of my pregnancy. Shout out to Jessica Cheatwood for the time, knowledge, tips/tricks, and for guiding me through how to work my breast pump!

Hopefully there will be another photo dump from the last part of the third trimester as well.

Week 22

Holy crap- how did we get this far? I am still trying to wrap my head around being pregnant and all of the experiences yet to come and you’re telling me I’m in month FIVE?! Only four months left to go. I can only imagine how new mothers feel about time, when I’m already wanting to slow this pregnancy down. I used to tell Tex every day when he was a puppy “stop growing!” and I have a feeling I’ll be saying the same to baby girl when she starts developing before my eyes 😍.

We got some good news this week! I’ve been struggling with finding a doctor and a place I want to birth our daughter, and just recently was informed by OU Medicine that they were unable to reach a contract with Blue Cross Blue Shield, my insurance provider, so our birth with them would’ve ended up being an out of pocket expense (ie. hella expensive). I wasn’t a huge fan on their family medical center to begin with AND to top it all off they’ve had me see three different doctors in the last three months. I honestly felt like I was just another chore to them being passed along. Not the vibe you want when you’re bringing a new life into the world. I won’t go into all the negative details but I will be cancelling my upcoming appointments with them because I got accepted as a new patient with a doctor in Norman. Hopefully the initial visit goes well, as I reaaaaally want some stability before it’s due date.

Tex (🐾) has always shown an interest in my abdomen when I’ve been pregnant. He did it during our last pregnancy before I miscarried, and so when he did it back in December again I looked at Ben and said “We do buy a pregnancy test?”.. even though we both knew 🥰.

Current favorite part of pregnancy: Feeling her movements more strongly now, as opposed to “I think that might’ve been?” movement.
Current loathed part of pregnancy: Mood swings. All the damn time, and they’re very intense. Plus I can’t sleep well at night.