Throwback to when Tove was just 5 days old. I look at this photo and feel ALL THE FEELS. Everything was so new for her, for me, for our little family. We were still struggling with feeding due to tongue tie and I was having a hard time with my breastpump. My hormones were all over the place. Ben would come find me in the room just bawling my eyes out. Exhaustion, fear, and anxiety were pumping through my veins.
Yet here we are..
it’s amazing the amnesia after giving birth. I miss the newborn stage already but I’m trying to also remember how much of a struggle it was. I felt like nobody prepared me for the fourth trimester. I did so much prep for giving birth when in reality I should’ve been preparing for when we brought her home.
The best part of the photo is that it’s edited 😅 below is the real deal- taken at 2:42am with a pillow case covered in after birth mess and newborn poop.
Today Tove “turned” two months old; two months of our family being three instead of just the two of us. The meaning of time changed completely the moment she was born; Ben and I say that time is just a construct now. Doesn’t matter how many hours we’ve slept in a day because her life goes on and she still needs us. Doesn’t matter if it’s 3am and she wants to feed, mamma has to eat as well. So we’re just rolling with the punches and I think we’re managing pretty well all things considered!
We’ve graduated to size 1 diapers from newborn and she’s almost fitting perfectly into 3 month old onesies 😱. Still not getting longer stretches of sleep but we’re also not on a consistent routine since my work schedule is all over the place. The swaddles though- brilliance.
Tove is definitely more alert now. She will follow you with her eyes and she’s almost to the point where she can hold her neck up on her own. An improvement from when she used to headbutt my collarbone. That first week I thought she was going to give herself a concussion 🤕
We have dance parties and Tove seems to be pretty fond of Kasey Musgraves new album 💿 but at night she’s all about the white noise Spotify playlist for babies.
She also eats SO QUICKLY, it’s like she’s chugging on my breast 😅. Pumping at work has been a challenge, and I leaked visibly yesterday. But we’re happy she’s eating well and growing! Some latch issues still so we’ve got an appointment for a lip and tongue tie evaluation towards the end of this month.
Every day is a new struggle but filled with so many AMAZING moments. I can’t describe the feeling I get from seeing her happiness just from the sound of my voice. Pure love 💕 ❤️