Throwback to when Tove was just 5 days old. I look at this photo and feel ALL THE FEELS. Everything was so new for her, for me, for our little family. We were still struggling with feeding due to tongue tie and I was having a hard time with my breastpump. My hormones were all over the place. Ben would come find me in the room just bawling my eyes out. Exhaustion, fear, and anxiety were pumping through my veins.
Yet here we are..
it’s amazing the amnesia after giving birth. I miss the newborn stage already but I’m trying to also remember how much of a struggle it was. I felt like nobody prepared me for the fourth trimester. I did so much prep for giving birth when in reality I should’ve been preparing for when we brought her home.
The best part of the photo is that it’s edited 😅 below is the real deal- taken at 2:42am with a pillow case covered in after birth mess and newborn poop.
The closer we get to our due date the more and more prepared I feel we are at home. Changing table has arrived from IKEA and we got a changing pad recently from Keekaroo as well. Plus after the baby shower so many of the items on our registry got purchased that the only thing left for me to do is mentally prepare for an unmedicated birth. I told Ben not to let me chicken out when the time comes and ask to go to a hospital just cause I want pain meds.
When we took our birthing class the instructor recommended we put together a few items to bring with us to the birthing center (which could also be brought to a stale hospital environment in case of an emergency transfer) so I decided to start working on an inspiration board today. I found some phrases on Pinterest but also drew from my own personal mantras and created some super simple affirmation cards on Canva.
If you want to see all 12 of them you can do so here. I’m no graphic designer but they are simple so you can use them as a template if you click the pen in the bottom left hand corner and change the phrases to fit your own birthing experience!
What a sense of relief this week has brought us! Not only did we decide on a midwife, but we also chose where we are going to birth our baby girl this summer.
I had my consultation with Brandy Harris from Willow Birth Services at the OKC Birth Center and fell in love instantly. She was open and honest and INFORMATIVE, not just directive. The birth center itself is brand spanking new this year; had their first birth this past week as well 🥰. The interior reminded me of homes in Sweden and that right there is what sold me. If my daughter isn’t going to be born in Sweden then I might as well make it DAMN CLOSE in esthetics. Plus I believe the space in which you birth should be equally as intimate at the space in which you conceived.
After struggling through appointments with FOUR different doctors, we settled on a natural birth. I hate hospitals and the business of being born in the states is overwhelming as a first time mom. I felt like a number, rather than a patient; I wasn’t about to pass that onto my child.
I am still vastly unprepared and uneducated on child birth, which is why we chose to hire some amazing women to help us. We will be working with a midwife, her assistant, as well as a doula. Ben, being a Magic The Gathering player, named our birthing team after a card and I’m here for it 😛 . I think I may have forgone having a doula if my mother was going to be present at the birth, or if this wasn’t our first rodeo, but ask me again after and I might have a different answer.
I will be having an unmedicated birth, which frankly still scares the daylights out of me but I believe mindset is everything. My body was made for this, I am a woman and am meant to bring new life into this world. If I mentally prepare then my body will know how to do the rest. Which is also the precise reason I chose the women I did to work with during our birth. They come with experience, knowledge, and advice that the internet can’t give me. I am also super thrilled to have Ben be an integral part of our birth, rather than an anxious dad in the corner of a hospital room.
For the first time during this pregnancy I can honestly say that I am excited to have birth! Maybe not so excited about all aspects but I feel empowered with the team we’ve chosen. 🤗