The Old My

I thought I had lost myself along the way with having a child and having changed my habits drastically in the last few years.

Somehow I found a new My (me 😝) when Tove was born; A stronger, more confident woman.

Traveling again and people watching has invigorated the old My. Not the bad habits or the mental issues… although let’s be real the mental monsters never go away, you just find a better way to manage them. But I feel like myself again, FUCKING FINALLY. I would apologize for the swear words, but no, that’s exactly how I feel.

I’ve been so torn between being My and being a mother and you know what? You can have your cake and eat it too. I can be the true me and be a great mother to my daughter.

I’ve needed this break so badly and I’m so thankful that I’ve gained the clarity to continue working to achieve my dreams. I cannot wait to show Tove the world and not let go of my own desires along the way.

Everyone warns you about how much your life changes when you have children but nobody ever emphasizes how much better you become as a person. Being a mother has empowered me to feel strongly and stand my ground.

The future is female and I birthed her.

10 Months

Tove has spent more time alive outside my womb than she did inside at this point and wow have I loved her journey so far.

16 pounds later, she’s somewhere in between nine month old clothing and one year old. She’s tall like her pappa but she’s also a skinny one.

Tove is great at eating food. We’ve gone from breastfeeding four times a day to only feeding once in the morning. She’s eaten everything we’ve given her so far… and she’s enjoyed it! Broccoli, corn, rice, chicken, salmon, pasta, bread, blueberries and bananas; to name a few of her favorites.

She’s starting to babble a bit and she’s enjoying walking with the help of my poor back 😅.

This month we took our first flight together and Tove took her first swim in the ocean.

I am so grateful that Tove has changed my life in the way she has. Tove feels happiness with her entire body and she really shares her joy with the world around her.

Feeling Some Type of Way

Current events had me starting my day very grateful for my health and my family. I shed many tears for the families that lost their loved ones due to gun violence recently.

It gets harder every day to want to continue to live in America when it seems like all anyone ever wants to do is offer thoughts and prayers.

But I’m focusing on the fact that I am able to care for my daughter while working from home since our nanny didn’t show up today. I’m focusing on the delicious lunch my mother made for me this past weekend. I focusing on the positives because I have to in order to keep going.

Protect your loved ones and hold them close because we never know what is on the horizon.

Mini Me

I’ve been trying to teach Tove how to wear sunglasses and yesterday I finally got her to wear them for slightly longer than 15 seconds.

Tove wore her sunglasses just long enough for Ben to snap a pic of us! She threw them on the ground the second we started walking though🤪

Routine Sunday

Every Sunday we try to clean the house and hit the grocery store to shop for the coming week. I’ve been getting better about cooking and it saves us so much money.

Today, I was too lazy to clean buuuuut I did meal prep for little miss Tove. (also means I’ll be mopping the floors once Tove goes to bed tomorrow)

I cooked some eggs for Tove with spinach, onion, and cherry tomatoes. I also boiled some broccoli and carrots for her. Then I used the leftover broccoli, spinach, and tomatoes in the blender with some Greek yogurt and put it into portions for the fridge/freezer.

💥 and just like that we’re ready for this next week.

It’s Her Right

Tove and I went to the women’s protest at the state capitol here in Oklahoma City again today. If Roe vs. Wade gets overturned we have decided as a family to make a plan to leave this country.

Hopefully by the time Tove is sexually active/menstruating I will have a resume that allows for me to seek employment abroad.

There were some great signs and speeches made this AM, I’m just ashamed I birthed a daughter here in Oklahoma of all places. 🙃

“White, religious, cis, men do not represent me.”

“There is something greater than gods will and that is my will.”

9 Months

This post is a day late but Tove was extra fussy and stayed up an hour past her bedtime last night. I’m pretty sure I start every monthly post off the same way, “man it’s a wild ride..” but for real watching a little human who grew inside of you find her way in the world is the biggest trip.

Tove is able to sit on her own but cannot sit up from lying down yet. She’s begun army crawling around and to whichever nearby object she can find. She enjoys crawling to Tex and stealing his 🧸 toys- and he’s sweet enough to let her.

We’re in the shrieking phase- I do not love it, nor does Ben. Tove is finding her voice but currently it involves screaming at the top of her lungs at almost everything. It’s an ear piercing shrill sound but it’s not because she’s upset. Cute and funny when it’s at lower registers but when she gets you in the ear it’s definitely less cute.

Tove has started mumbling and babbling so the race is on to see what her first words will be. Tex, pappa, or hat are my guesses 🤪

Food wise, Tove is always hungry it seems! She loves purées and has been enjoying cut up fruit recently. Much like mom, Tove also enjoys bread and pasta!

She outgrew her first sleep sack and she’s pretty close to being done with her 9 month old pjs as well. Tove’s got them long legs like her pappa.